depression
[deathbylies]
 | 10:47 pm - Something is Looking Up
I had the most suckiest feelings today. I just wanted to get things done and be done with everything. I wanted to be holed up in my room and just cut the living mess out of my stomach. I noticed that I have an increase in appetite and that bothered me to the point of wanting to slap myself. I was trying to withhold from freaking out on anyone over the phone and thought of having to deal with my mother on Christmas was putting me in a foul mood. I got my children's book project done for my Creative Writing class and gave it to my friend to do the illustrations.
And then my day got a bit brighter. My twin friends invited me over to their house so I can get my gift from them. Went over and found that I got a cute little handmade comic strip of a joke we made about Cloud Strife, a Final Fantasy character (it's a game FYI) and a ramen bowl set with two packets of ramen to try it out on. That just eraticated at least some crappy feelings. Then we settled in front of the laptop after joking around about the craziness of manga artists and their works. We ended up watching a Christmas special starring our favorite Japanese artists: GACKT and TMR. Then we watched some Korean show starring a boyband we're in love with: MBLAQ (produced by one of the hottest Korean men I've ever known, Rain).
When I came home, my father told me about a letter from one of the colleges I applied to. I read the first two letters and freaked out. I got in. It's the college of my dreams. I was so scared I wouldn't get in since this was the hardest school to get into that I picked. But I'm proud of myself even just slightly. It made me feel just a little better about myself. A small speck but it's ok.
I'm leaving for New York City in the morning to go visit my stepfather's family. I'm really excited to see them though I'm scared about anyone seeing the new scars on my arms and the fact that I cut on my stomach and leg is going to be hard to cover when my stepfather's mother (my favorite grandmother) is letting me stay at her house. But I'll be worried about that tomorrow night.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/determined.gif) determined
Current Music: Konayuki by GACKT & T.M.Revolution
|
depression
[dieing_light]
 | 04:12 am
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
Current Location: in the dark
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/discontent.gif) discontent
Current Music: marlene dietrich's favorite poem - peter murphy
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
penguinseatcake's Friends Page![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/blah.gif){kind=small}
blah![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/sad.gif){kind=small}
depressed![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/tired.gif){kind=small}
exhausted